March 24, 2010

The Unwind.

Is it my birthday right now if I'm 6 hours behind the times when I was born?  I was wondering that today as I am within 1 day from turning 31, IN KAUAI!!  WOW, and such a beautiful place and slooooooow vibe.  But, it wasn't as easy as just coming into this peaceful, lush, beautiful and natural environment and automatically transforming into relaxed, aloha Brandon. It took some work.  

My first 2.5 days here were rocky, unsettling and sad:(   I missed home, missed my friends, and thought several times of running as fast as I could to the airport on the next flight back the the mainland.  I heard Kauai has that impression on people, its pure energy here, and whatever is in the way of me having the best life ever while I'm here, is sure as seashells gonna come up to challenge. But don't worry, I overcame.  It was the adjustments, on the mat, and off.  Coming into a new house, with new people and a new form of yoga to practice, understand, practice, learn, practice and prepare to teach turned me upside down, not to mention my 18-year old roommate who began his spiritual religious studies at age 12 and runs throughout our house chanting.  I realized that my own expectations, undistinguished before my arrival, were made clear and shattered over the last two days of me being here.  

It was a horrifically beautiful process. To watch oneself squirm and judge myself, my new housemates and my new yoga practice while comparing it to different housemates and different yoga even though I have no prior concept of another yoga teacher training or other housemates that could be besides the imagery conjured up in my noggin.  It was the process of complete surrender while I noticed myself having to deal with my idea of what EVERYTHING SHOULD look like. I can hear my brother saying, "Brandon, you used to tell me not to say 'should'." And yes, I did. It's a practice. 

So by using the tools that I have, I opened myself up, said what I had to say and got all the chatter and crap I was downloading out of my head and into my recycle bin.

I'm much happier now and am glad I'm learning this style of yoga, and am surprisingly delighted with my new friends living with me in our beautiful home. We've connected, and I guess I can say that so did I. 

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