Woot~ Im 32.. Happy Birthday to me! (you be good to Brandon!)
Thats what a dear person in my life said to me yesterday.. it was a tough birthday, with so many choices and options right now.. I was feelin it.
We take life so seriously you know? I mean I can only speak personally here but im sure you can relate, right? From our careers, to our paintings, what to order off the menu, which yoga class to take, whatever.. we get in our heads. I was in my head.
I just returned from LA, and LA Outback, a supreme didgeridoo company wants me to work with them, then I got a new job up here in SF (recession?) and trying to sort out all of that, move at the end of the month, figure out my tattoo and try to get my cell phone charged so i can call moms, i was feelin it!
That's when an angel with wings swooped down and looked me straight in the eye and said, "You be good to my friend Brandon!"
Iwoke up today with a great idea. It got me straight out of bed on this beautiful day in Oakland to write this and lead to what you are reading right now. You see, I love playing the didgeridoo. And I play it on the streets and busk. Last Tuesday I played at the Berekely Farmers Market and made a little under $20.
The money didn't matter though, it was who I got to be that did. I felt alive, out there (in the way that I felt connected and part of life, like I was creating something), inspired and taking charge of my life, how crazy that may sound I don't know b/c I was just playing music on the street, but that's how I felt.
Kids would just sit down in front of me, mezmorized by the the undulating, cavernous sounds of my new didgeridoo in the key of 'B'. It garners a beautiful snake along it and as I weaved my hand in a snake-like way created more of the dreamtime atmosphere, something that every child who passed latched onto. I just adored myself and my music and these precious little kids who are so young and vibrant, full of energy and so curious to learn about every super cool thing that passes by them.
Now, I'm inspired to do this online busking post. I'm busy out here creating and am about to start a major project in my life. I will do it, that I am 100% clear about. What's been great about being out in California for me is that I no longer care about getting it perfect. That stopped me before. So now, a few weeks shy of my 32nd birthday I'm about to embark on a business that is sure to change the way natural food product companies are viewed.. but i'll have to keep it a bit secretive for now..
In the meantime, back to this online busking.. I'm trying to raise some funds so I can come back to the east coast in May to visit friends, dance with my 5-rhythms community and attend a wedding of my homeboy from childhood...What do ya think? If you like what you see, please feel free to drop a few dimes in the bucket, or not. Either way I am happy to share~
And now it's time to slow down a bit and settle in.
I always preferred that to 'settling down' anyways... I've been living around the bay area in 7 different houses now. Have had about 4 jobs and of course have been wandering around in my mind and in my heart for the entire duration.
But now things are shifting.
I'm getting tired of doing the same thing over and over again.. yes. It's insane. Not what I'm doing but to the extent of which I'm doing it, .... yes, it's insane. When I left New York.. (new jersey) 141 days ago I was willing to let myself unfold into the mystery. Or, in other words, let myself go,...err, I mean I wanted to let whatever was at the core of my wandering play itself out so a location could be found.
I knew I had to leave. Leaving always forwarded my process. Picasso marked his periods endings/beginnings when he returned home from being away. I remember in 2004 when I bought my 1995, forest green Ford Ranger-XLT and traveled the states in it for 8-months I came back to Philly newly.
Location is being found out, right now. It doesn't feel like 141 days. It feels almost, timeless... the presence of being in the journey and myself at the same time as I have been watching myself let go of layers which were unable to be cast aside while being stuck are now leaving.
I'm drawing more.
I'm dancing a lot more.
And I'm following my word.
I think sometimes, 'could I have grown like this if I were still in nj/ny? I think not. For me it takes a drastic shift to accomplish the progression I need. I mean, maybe I could have done it in nj/ny.. in fact I'm sure I could have.. I just didnt want to. And besides, I'm impatient... I'm an Aries. I'm an artist-I live like on.
All the things I've been wanting to do with my life are starting to sink in, settle in and really right now IS the only time to move forward. I'm tired of watching my word fly away while the layers of my past stay and stay.
So because that past and old layers sway,
My true intentions and dreams are being layed.
I'm just pourin' the concrete
on my dreams' foundation.
I'm settlin in
and am in my dreams vacation.
That being said I think I'll stay here and move into a home w/ the intention of living in it for more than 30 days.
I've got big things envisioned for the rest of my life... starting now.