December 26, 2010

Too Rajasic In The Hot Tub,.. and The Didgeridoo

"It's too hot, too hot, too hot ladayyyy..."  

(please listen to this song as you read.. it goes with the post)

By the time I saw a glowing green orb donut shaped thingy, I realized it was definitely time to be out of the hot tub. For real. I saw it. It was right in front of me. A neon green donut floating in front of me with electric purple trim. At first I thought it was awesome. Then, I thought I was going to pass out.

When I got into Janny and Vanny's house everything was really bright and glowing... and then I couldn't stand up without holding onto something; nausea, dizziness, fear, sweat... here we go again! It was just last saturday that all hell seemed to break loose (story is coming to Elephant Journal-promise) and now, again. Hell.

Here's one moral: Do wait AT LEAST 45 minutes before you go for a swim and if the temperature happens to be over 100 degrees wait A LOT LONGER (especially after eating all sorts of animals at the Chinese restaurant con bebidas frias {cold drinks}).

So I got a little overheated (rajasic in sanskrit) as a result of overindulgence in combination with the heat from the hot tub- I also got permission and self-imposed reasons to skip waking up at 6:30-ish a.m. this morning to get picked up for yoga at Nandi in San Mateo where I was to play didgeridoo: I had a headache going home last night around 12:45, I woke up at 3am to lucid dreams feeling not a minute rested past flopping down in my bed hours prior and woke up a few more times that night to the thought, 'I'm going to text her right now and cancel.'  

Ughh!!! Here we go, it's time to do the work right now in bed. Ok, what's it going to look likeeeeee, if I cancel

1. The thought of Giselle telling the class that I wasn't going to be showing up to play live didg' in class I'm sure wouldn't have been a big deal.. "It's no big deal."  People will say in that in the world; In fact, it's almost expected that if y'all are feelin' ill' it's ok to skip out on thing

           1a.)Not for me-not today. Got that. 

2. I didn't want to cause, or deal with knowing of their disappointment, for myself I mean, even if it was just one person. Does this make sense?

3. I would not want to deal the impact of breaking my word with Giselle, 

4. Or deal with the impact of breaking my word with myself. 

5. Even if it was all justified by, "It's no big deal"

So, I chose to take responsibility for ALL OF THAT and surmised it all with "I don't want to deal with the impact of breaking my word." -Good mantra to have at 3 a.m. with a headache after almost fainting for the first time in my life... not to mention a lot of undigested cherry pork somewheres in my intestines. I thought of Paul Turro leading The Wisdom Course and saying repeatedly that 'honoring your word is a very noble thing to do, BUT keeping your promises is the most high and holy of actions', a.k.a. karma yoga (principal of cause and effect, selfless service and action, discipline of action). I guess Paul was a yogi too?

It was kinda killin' me though- my powerful self that is. Because as much as I didn't want to skip out on playing in class, I was equally siding with wanting to sleep in and take care of my self, wake up late, blah blah blah. Duality, yeah-it's a bitch. Gotta deal. Yeah, SOOoo who cares. Or as Miles used to say, "So what."

So I woke up, made a green smoothie and tea, took em to go with Natasha (my ride and Giselle's assistant today), watched the sun kiss the tops of the fluffy white clouds looming over the hills and bay and was on my way to play didg' for the kids, even though they were adults,.. it rhymes.

And I got more super valuable lessons, ones which I wouldn't have gotten if I decided to sleep in like a shlub.

During class I kept getting nervous, as I do before I'm about to play didgeridoo for a larger sized yoga class. This one must have been an easy head-count of thirty-five. I kept thinking, my mantra for the day, "I am a yogi; I see the path but do not know the way." It guided me through and as I returned to breath, I calmed myself and was in my practice before I got the tap on my shoulder to make my way to the front of the class.

Two: What if they don't like the music? -Answer: So what. Breathe and take it a breath at a time. That's valuable when playing the didg'. As Ondrej Smeykal told me in a workshop I did last summer, 'just play to your own breath and stop caring what anyone else thinks... If you are in line with your breathing while you play, it will sound 100X better than trying to play for them.' --That worked!

So it was just another 'best day ever' in the sea of 'best day ever's' that I've ever had. Good thing I kept my word, and the test may have been the hot tub and 4 animals I ate the night before... I'm not going veg. though.


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