Thank The Baby JESUS!

For Christs sakes.. there's so much to do! It's christmas eve.. I love how spell-checker won't let me spell christmas w/o a 'C'... really already over and out.

I live in Berkeley again. I couldn't help it! I love the east bay. Forget SF.. at least lets forget about the mission.. that place appears to be the cool scene in SF but it didn't take long for me to get up and go. 3-days. That's it. Just 3-days and I was (as Harry Kalas would say) Outta there!

And I did hit a home-run. After my 3-day stint in the mission, and a 3-day bender if I've ever had one.. (you'll get to see THAT story on Elephant Journal as I colorfully describe what it's like to be on THC and 5-HTP at the same time.. yikes, talk about a dark trip into a tree trunk--that's a Star Wars reference people!).. here's the image

So after waking up at noon (and finally, i think, falling asleep around 7am that morning) I mustered up enough strength to finish watching the Eagles/Giants game as whiskey settled me into Sunday.

I came back to the house I had just rented but hadn't paid for yet and just felt.. uneasy, I didn't want to live there anymore. I know it had only been a few days but I felt like I wasn't home, is the best way to describe it despite it being the most plush house I had been living in over the last 4-months of travel.

I woke up that Monday and got to work. Found a sweeeet sublet for a month in Berkeley (east bay), sent an email and received a phone call within the hour.

"The only catch is that I'm leaving in a few hours!" said the leas-or? (is that what they're called?)

And by 7pm that night, after me and Mr. Shechtman reunited for some coffee with the lovely Casey James, I was in my new-new pad in Berkeley enjoying a 1-bdrm with a star-laser machine in it.. Which I call now, 'The Planetarium'.  It's divine.

So I have that house until January 15th, and then it's off again.. to another home unoccupied preferably, where I will sit in peace and say, THANK THE BABY JESUS FOR THIS MIRACLE! <-- that's for you Sarah~

Merry Christmas~

B ~

The Wandering Tzu

I'm moving again... the journey continues, this time Ill be heading to SF proper! WOOT! The Mission.. that's where I'll be. Staying in a super nice apt. off 24th street. I will be there for at least 29 days. My new roommate is a defense trial lawyer for an insurance company, and a dedicated Burner.. (that's Burning Man, btw.. )

In the past week my wanderings have taken me all around the east bay.. that's on the other side of SF, btw.. Oakland, Berkeley exist here and it's so nice.. The weather is a constant 58 degrees, not bad for Decemeber, and Lake Merritt is super sweet. Its a GIANT lake in Oakland.

As I was looking for directions at a bus stop I met a few guys rollin' a good time and by the time I left the bus stop on my way to the Lake to look for the yoga studio I was going to visit, I was floating and for the first time really seeing my new home. The lake looked like New York City! People walking at different speeds around the lake, houses sitting right on top of the shore-line, or so it seemed... Just really peaceful vibes.

I fell in love. It's like the Shire... in my mind, and my heart.

So anyway, this also is the same week that I have been reading the Tao Te Ching.. Really great book by Lao Tzu layin' down the laws of life. Lao Tzu was a wanderer.. He's the guy who said, "the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step." Really great stuff.. I recommend, it's been rearranging my molecules. Today I was on the BART heading to the city for work and this woman with green highlights came and sat down next to me... She started talking right away about the Tao Te Ching.

I was a bit introverted and felt like listening to music and staring out the window but amused my new friend anyway. "I'm a performance artist, clown and mask something or other...." Then she started telling me that she could interpret my handwriting. I was interested. Turning off my ipod while listening to Ondrej Smeykal, a great didgeridoo player and let Ruby, my new friend entertain me. She then proceeded to interpret my handwriting after I wrote a few sentences down for her. "You've really broken out of the box" she said,... "No one has ever turned the paper on its side and written something for me." Then she said something about me being slightly moody, artistic and some more stuff.. I can't remember right now. I'm tired and am actually writing this AFTER i've already finished the entire post...

Let's see what else.. I'm tired right now.. *yawn*.. I'm heading to bedski.  Oh, alright, before bed, a random page I will turn to in the Tao Te Ching.. for your pleasure..

"The Master arrives without leaving,
sees the light without looking,
achieves without doing a thing."

Ok, goodnight!

I will be taking my talents to.....

This past summer the world awaited LeBron James' decision on where he would be playing basketball for the 2010/2011 season. Tensions built, people and fans anxiously awaited, the city of Cleveland and the state of Ohio clenched their jaws in anticipation that LeBron would stay in Cleveland. He didn't.

Cleveland fans dealing with the pain

"I have decided to take my talents to South Beach" -his words uttered on national television, a huge spectacle was made out of the event and Cleveland burned James jerseys in effigy.

I will be taking my talents to the SF. Not nearly as an anticipated as LeBron James 2010/11 decision, maybe a bit ego-centric, but hey! I'm human, and in my own world.  I will be staying in the bay area and am looking into moving to San Fran and leaving the east bay... I will re-evaluate in mid January.. I'm happy I at least made a commitment for a few months.

So there you have it. Will #34 55lb.-Northampton Indians jerseys be burned back in PA? We shall see...

~B

The Wake Up Call

Waking up at 5:55am again tomorrow.... I'm officially hustling and officially (self realization here) in the rat race. My last week of unemployment, I have no home and no full time job... just a few part time jobs that im stacking together to make ends meet...

Today I woke up at 5:55 as well.. I was at the BART (bay area rapid transit--think nyc subway but WAY more expensive) to meet Jessica, founder of getaround.com a local bay area car sharing service co. where car owners can rent their cars out and set prices for local renters (organically placed plug).

Man goes to California, goes broke, wanders from place to place sleeping on couches, floors, cabins, futons, works whatever jobs he finds on craigslist and occasionally busks in metro stations playing long wooden instruments that come from deserts half-way around the world.

Now I'm not making any of this wrong - nor am I blaming myself for the positions I have rightfully earned. I am poking light at the fact that I am stuck in California and couldn't leave to go back home even if I wanted to.. which I do-from time-to-time.  It's just ironic that I spent all summer making myself believe that California had the answers to my problems AND I thought I would for sure be able to do whatever I wanted OR AT LEAST what I was saying I wanted to do whilst in New York/New Jersey--which was...

"I'm gonna go out there and get a job, find a place to live and see if I want to be in the bay or LA... you know, just live and blah blah blah." As my friend Sarah would say, 'welcome to crazy town'... btw, I'm now the mayor of crazy town, usa, aka-California. Why you may ask?

Because I didn't have a CLUE what I was in for. If I knew that this was going to be shaping up to be the fight of my life I probably would have come up with some other grand idea.. and actually.. now that I think about it, would wind-up in the same place I'm in now, only someplace else.

I am really having to teach myself discipline here. Saving my money--ech-chem.. excuse me, I meant NOT spending my money on dance, cookies, juice, or whatever; breaking free from the expectation that the world will provide all I need and ask for as I comfortably sit in the grass, sun beating on my face in half-lotus position... no, this is not the time for that. I would like it to be.. but it's not. It's time to get to work.. and I have to work and I have to make ends meet in as many creative ways possible-right now.

(right now its sleeping in my friend Olivia's room who I met at dance camp while her mom is sleeping in the room next door b/c after 3-months couch surfing I can't afford rent... it's passing out flyers at 7am for cash in hand after my shift so I dont have to use my debit card.. it's ordering Thai food and splitting it up in two portions so I dont spend money on food the next day--its all of that) -much love/respect to the Obidah's, btw.

This 'trip' is also about looking at myself in new ways. Looking NOW to see how I impacted people when I wasn't noticing how I was being ungrateful and expecting, full of myself, arrogant.. This is the feedback I've been getting and it's been EYE-OPENING!

Only when ya travel do ya get this.. or when you wander? When I wander this is what I get.. a dose of medicine aimed at having me having to deal with how I am showing up for the world and let me just tell you I am so committed to transforming this IT HURTS! So, like I was saying, I'm stuck here in California. When I return to the east coast, whenever that is, I will not be in the same everything place I was when I came out here. I will return with honor and pride.

This is my lesson, and the test is called California. Now I gotta go to bed, I'm waking up in 6 hours to pass out flyers. And before I go I want to mention a few more things.

a.) I shaved my beard after a dream that I shaved my beard. To me this is a sign of coming out of hiding.

b.) After realizing that I have been being stingy and selfish with my recent housemates.. like ReALLY GETTING THIS IN MY BONES that I have been showing up like this all the while thinking otherwise--I can now see the possibility arising in the shadows.. And it's called being grateful and abundant for what I do have.

I have two amazing jobs. In one I get to greet San Franciscans each morning now and wish them all 'Good Morning' as I pass out a great new car sharing service.  Let me say if you wished your city or town good morning at least 300 times to their face, you would feel ecstatic. The other is with this incredible Jewish non profit that teaches resistance training and how to stand up to fight the good fight after learning about the Jewish guerrilla fighters who lived in the woods during WWII.

And it's all starting to shift; my context, my reality, my being, my face! This really is it. I'm living my life and it's only going to get better.

Wandering on...

~B