Teaching

I'm going to teach. I have to, really- I do. If I don't teach, I will never know. Many people have all kinds of trainings under their belt but are not teaching their gift. The magic can become lost, the tools dull. What you don't use, you lose. Going to bed one night recently I was wondering what others would think of this style of yoga that I am now trained in teaching. Key word: Teaching.

I was wondering how I would be as a teacher (already know I'm great). I was wondering if I would ever teach?
People have been asking me all over the place, "Where are teaching?" "Are you teaching yet?" All that jazz.

And I will be, I keep saying, or something like that.

So anyway, back to laying in bed one night. Actually, I was laying on floor. I was sleeping on the floor. Not for postural support or renunciation of material things b/c I'm this 'enlightened yogi' now. But b/c Bob, my sub-letter was still in my room. So there I was laying on floor in our common space area, Doug around the corner sleeping when it struck me, 'I have to teach now'.

This is my Karma Yoga, or service oriented gift that I must give back. To enable me to live more holistically I feel one must give and be in the process of giving. For me, I give money to the homeless as well as grant them my being too (thats not just some time, it's also giving them my attention). I give artists money, I give people food. I like to give.  This style of yoga is the next level. It requires my time to give.

I am into many things and have various projects I am embarking on now that I am 'back', wherever back is, I realize I must teach. To give, to be known in the world for continuing what others have seen me learn in Hawaii which for myself- strengthens my own foundation. And of course knowing those answers that I now ask myself in bed, or in floor.

If you would like a session please let me know, I would be happy and honored to teach you tools you can use for the rest of your life, to feel better, to be healthier, and to receive, because receiving is also just as powerful as giving when you can allow yourself.

Someone recently asked me what my most profound moment of yoga has been

 The most profound moment of my yoga practice, albeit there were many, would have to be the moment I realized that I was in fact, a yoga teacher. It wasn’t at my teacher training or after my training. It was at Burning Man in 2006. 


I was taking a class from this really great teacher named Joe who teaches somewhere in the Chelsea section of New York City. There must have been about 70 people in his class, under a tent in the desert. It was early, around 9am and we were set up in concentric circles going from the smallest circle in the center of the tent (with me in it-of about 6 people) outwards towards the largest circles at the back ends of the tent which linked roughly 20 or so people. I can’t really remember those details. What I do remember was that since it was outside and being the very expansive desert was hard to hear Joe as he walked around and taught. 


I noticed two things. One, that I was amazingly present and centered in my practice that morning. I hadn’t practiced in a few months up until that point and was surprised how open my body was. This leads me to the second point. I was smiling. Wide. And since I was having my own transformational experience in this class already being all open and present of sorts, I saw other people who couldn’t hear the teacher watching me for instruction. 


Besides radiating positive energy that morning, I profoundly got in my bones that I was a yoga teacher. All right inside that moment. It was just a matter of time from that point to the moment I chose to head to Kauai to teach.

Kauai WAS Fruity

I'm making some changes to this site over the next few days. Since I am now, back from the islands and in town, I have moved the 'Kauai Is Fruity' page and created it as an archived post. If you want to view any of these videos then go into the archives section on the side bar, and search for the post. It is posted on the 17th of April.

There you will be able to view the fruitastic videos I made while in Kauai. Mahalo for watching.

B~

Same River, Never Twice.

I am back. Aloha New Jersey. Although, as I drove into Jersey City taking in the Manhattan skyline early this morning around 1:15am, for the first time in, ohh,... 56 days. As I parked the car I will be driving all the way back to D.C. for my brother tomorrow, walked a few blocks to my apt, and as I and walked around in my apt. I could absolutely not deny the dualist feeling of never leaving in the first place and knowing I am not the same person who lived here almost two months ago.

It felt like I never left. Everything seemed the same. Except for the smell. Bad. That is the one difference so far. The air is not the same air in Kauai. I never noticed before I left?

The environment felt so familiar my mind began playing tricks on me. 


"It's still the same here, nothing has changed, you haven't changed, why did you ever leave, did you ever leave? I knew it, the whole thing was a dream."  


Blah, blah-blah-blah blah 
(thank you mind chatter for sharing).


So, there was all of that, AND, what I do notice already, right off the bat, is that I feel like I grew up. I already feel more connected and open, accepting and centered. A sure-fire result of leaving just to come back home and being more in my own skin, being more at home, not just in jersey city, but with myself. I think Being able to differentiate between the these two feelings and thoughts is gold, and I'm grateful for it.


Things feel similar and different. The things are similar, but I am different. And so the proverb, You can't step in the same river twice.  Super Mamish Mahalo.

Giving is Receiving

Revamping life. It's time for a change. If anything being away taught me, it's that being away is the best way to find my way. Of course I would want to be around communities and local sustainablity and connect more to my own passions and gifts that I have cultivated over the last 10 years of my life as an artist and a healer.

To get out of the NY/East Coast/NJ rut was the best medicine I could have ever asked for.  I'm ready to come back more connected and aligned to who I am and to what my heart is saying. Being in California was feel good. I worked with a lot of people on the YogAlign Method and even found myself leading a shot-gun style class at this raw food/superfood collective one night where raw pie and poetry was the theme.  And it felt good, not to try but to give, know what I mean?

Ah, the theme of this blog comes through. When I give my gift freely without trying to or being attached to doing so, my own expression comes through with more vibrance.

I have found this true before in the past as well. For instance, last week when I was sitting around talking to people about life and yoga and hawaii what naturally came was, "I can show you some stuff" and bc it was natural and in the conversation, the gift I offered was more readily able to be received- and thus received as I showed Alexander some neuromuscular breath work. He benefited from it but even if he didn't the experience for me was rewarding as I too received the gift of service. As they heal, we heal.  I wondered if I had come with the intention of working with people at the party, would it have come naturally as it did just by me wanting to help others and share? 

I always thought there was this rigid formulaic way to go about marketing and 'getting' clients as a practitioner, but what I keep noticing is that it's always a natural process for me and if anything I have been fighting my gift of spontaneity, charisma and connection with people.  I could easily be myself, go up to strangers and talk to them, I do all the time. And to then share with them my talents is what's next.

As a health counselor in the past when I tried to make things happen I rarely achieved success in that model. But I always noticed that when I was natural and in my own wanting to share what I know with others, openly and without expectation of a return, like money, I wound up being successful in the relationship, which could be the initial consult for bringing back clients who will pay.

There are many times when I see someone suffering or ailing on the street, that I just want to go up to them and give myself, without any expectation in return. I most of the time restrict that natural energy, thinking "that would be weird," and go about my life. But now I see it differently and as my recent travels have shown, I am more open to sharing and giving which excites me because when people ask, "are you going to teach when you return home," I say yes, but really don't want to force anything. I'm really just most interested in helping others and letting the energy flow as it does, and if it leads to clients and classes, etc. great. If not, then so what, I'll do and be where I'm guided.

What are your talents you share or don't share? Where have you noticed yourself in command through the energy of giving? What would be possible for you if you were present with yourself and your gifts? What would you receive? What could you give to others? What difference would that make for them?

Forgetting to Remember

Just had a healing session with Daniel and Alan, two amazing practitioners staying at the MahaSiddha house with us. In the session, I realized 'why am i spending my time organizing my days and being on a schedule when I really have nothing to do, at all!'

Then it came to me that, and I'll quote one of my favorite mind-bending movies, 'Waking Life' "What was missing was felt irretrievable, the extreme uncertainties of traveling without working made excess necessary and breaks definitive." In other words, if I don't try to get somewhere, the place where I'm supposed to be will be shown via my heart.

It takes a lot of energy to plan. And maybe I'm supposed to stay here in the bay area for a bit longer? Maybe not? What about the long term? One thing Hawaii has provided for me is the sense that everything is ok as it is. And, the love of playing music and sound has come through for me. I bought a didgeridoo in Kauai and have become immersed in it. I am committed to mastering the didgeridoo, and all that is coming to me is wanting to play it in the streets for people. Huh? Ok. This little heart of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, and follow that heart towards the blissful state that anyone can attain by doing so. 

The challenge; being courageous enough to walk the walk and step outside the expectations that I have adopted and downloaded from myself and others in my life. To live a true life is to go on through it without knowing where to go but still having an idea of what one wants, right?

This is where I'm heading with it, really, no kidding around. (click)

Mainlanding

I think I'll mainland it for a while, maybe a looong while? I arrived in California today and after 3 flights the most challanging aspect to my travels was no doubt the bus/train/bus/train/cab connection from San Jose-->Berkeley. Took me 4 hours to commute, but only $11. That's a big mahalo to the finance gods and a sure fire slowdownyourasana tenant.

And, apparently I brought the Hawaiian sun with me! It was easily in the 80's. Plus, I am completely and absolutely bringing the Aloha spirit with me as well. Big mamish mahalo to Darius and the Mahasiddha Buddhist home for hosting me. I am in exactly the place I am supposed to be. Totally clear.

Conscious like-minded people here openly sharing life and each others gifts. I was already invited to share Yogalign with the crew here. You guys are all amazing. Aloha spirit-stoked! It's time to be the teacher I know myself to be.

Although I must say that perhaps the most interesting feature of being back on the mainland (it's not the noise or grotesque, endless shopping) is that my back is peeling like a mutha'! When I was a kid I used to love it when I would get tan and peel. But I ain't seen nothin' like this before, check it out!

(granted the pic doesn't do complete justice)


Was it because my body knew I had left island and now the re-acclimation process has begun? Was it the countless hours on the 3 planes trying to sleep unsuccessfully while I squirmed against my seat? Or was it the mainland water from the mainland shower that I took today which sent signals to molt?  No matter, any which way I slice it, I'm mainlanding now.

Image and Feeling, Imagine the feeling.

Some images from my last hours in Kaua'i.


























Magic. Surrounds. Island.
Heart envelops the resounding
Pulse that the wind and rain generate
That, which nature draws from
That, which ocean holds
  That,
     Is,
        This...
      
                    ~ Kaua'i~