Leaders Causing Leaders

If you really knew me, you would know that I love connecting with people. If you really knew me you would know that dancing probably makes me happier then anything else in the world. And, if you really knew me you would know that when there is no energy in an event, there is no energy present in me!

People from all over LA and beyond (I met a philly resident) are coming in less than droves to the Long Beach Convention Center for the 1st ever Leaders Causing Leaders conference. Where were all the people?

Sure, there were heaps of empties sans fannies in the main auditorium, something that any speaker would notice and perhaps feel disempowered by? As a former Introduction Leader with Landmark Education I would get a little rubbed when there were a few empty seats to the rooms I was leading. However, maybe I should learn a thing or two from these seasoned speakers and leaders.

No one who I witnessed speaking was phased by the lack of attendance. I think the conference was expecting over 2,000 participants to the actual 200 or so that showed up on Saturday, the first of the two day event.

Let's just get the pink elephant out of the way and move on, shall we. Check.

When all that was going on for me The Dutra St. John's came to the stage and floored me for my first blogging assignment. The creators of Challenge Day, a high school program designed to rip students out of their self created boxes took me for surprise when Rich and Yvonne didn't just talk about their work with us at the conference, they did the work with us. I wasn't ready and I didn't want to either.

First thing on Saturday morning I had to find a partner. Ughh.. Bring back my Landmark Education days why don't we, speak of the devil. I noticed I could either resist and have my attitude about the conference or give that up and do what they wanted, aka-being in their world. Up until that point I was a cynic. Nobody was there, the sound was bad and the lighting worse. I chose to shift my context and get in the conference and their exercise. After all we were all going to be with each other for the next two days.

The St. John's were ready to play. Really ready to play. Like, full on ready to go and they weren't gonna cater to our lethargy. A few exercises later of "If you really knew me" with our partners and a few token Oprah clips of their work in action had everyone in tears.

I left open, free and connected to not only my partner, but the conference as a whole. I zigged, zagged and buzzed through the hall meeting people and connecting, something that I do best.

Three cheers to the Dutra St. John's for their work and their commitment in the world.

~B

Letting Myself Unwind

Today in meditation I didn't care to stop the thoughts from pouring in. I just let 'em flow. Usually, I will work on listening to my breath and focusing on counting and that gets me to that clear space of nothing that is oh-so-zen. But today, nahh. Today I chose not to.

I think there's a lesson in this too. Have you ever tried to meditate? I'm not even sure what this means. I hear people say they try to meditate all the time but can't b/c 'there's too much chatter' so they give up. Ughh. More backward western thinking? Maybe. But let's stay clear of opening that can of worms for now and focus on meditation.

It's just being with your thoughts. There's nowhere to get to. I think many of us quit b/c we expect meditation to 'look a certain way'. That when people do it there's going to be this amazingly clear and profound space that will erase all karmic debts in their life and everything will change-PRESTO! And when it's not they can't understand why all their shit keeps coming up. So, rather than stick with it, many people avoid those thoughts and all 'their stuff' and turn it in. It's very important (I've been noticing) to have blank spaces in my day. And I'm no expert either; I'll hang out 3 hours online before bed with the best of 'em to avoid just simply being with myself.

Back to today; that was just a hick-up of opinionation on my behalf. Let's talk about our thoughts and what I noticed.

So today I chose not to try and keep a blank space. Instead, I chose the opposite. I chose to let my mind go and wander and daydream and go off on everything that came up. I thought about baseball and I let it rip; the next thing I found myself doing was being a Baseball Tonight analyst explaining why even the stellar Phillies starting rotation was beatable had rough patches against the Giants which coalesced hits when they needed to. I was talking in my mind like John Kruk and Bobby Valentine when examining teams and outcomes. I was there, in studio and I had a job!

This was all during a 6am time slot that found Asher leading a MahaSiddha Dharma Buddhist guided meditation. I wasn't even paying attention. And I really didn't care. It's what was there for me. I am learning to not be so hard on myself anymore in life, just going with what's there for me, with what's coming up. I guess you can call this compassion. Deep.

What I want to share is that after all the baseball analysis and thinking about going to Los Angeles tomorrow, I got tired of thinking. I gave up. Or actually, it gave up. My mind did. It stopped thinking and for the last 45 seconds of the hour or so that I was in the practice room, I had peace of mind. Not bad for not even trying, huh?

So this is the lesson that I learned that I can see in my life right now. I am lettin' it all unwind, uncoil and release, without judgement. I am following my own true nature, and am not trying to fit inside of or become like others want me to. That shit feels good!

B~

I've Got Nothing, What A Great Thing!

I am now in California. I just moved here and today is the start of my second day. What the F*ck!? I MOVED TO CALIFORNIA!!? And now that I am here, what the hell am I gonna do!?!  I mean, here I am, right now sitting here in my one-room cabin the the backyard of a Buddhist share house and I'm like, 'now what!?'

Ok, B, just breathe... be cool,
                                                       relax, 
                                                                    chill out.
                                                        (sounds coming out of mouth, a release)


As I watched myself go through feelings of loneliness and isolation this morning, the beginnings of panic. I couldn't help but begin to consider what the nuggets of wisdom could be in all of this? Sure, I just moved here with 2 backpacks and a couple didgeridoos while all my belongings are still in storage in Jersey City. That to me is grounds for a minor freak-out. But really, why freak out? How many times have I heard that we have everything we need already (meaning inside of us, that's non-material); And besides hearing it, I have actually experienced having everything I needed in my past when I've been in this situation. Now clearly, according to the mainstream world, I don't have the things to make me whole and complete. I don't have a job, a place to live, much money, transport, furniture or a decent cell phone, just to name a few. But these aren't luxury items, these are all standards, things we take for granted (with the exception of a good android app-filled celly, obviously). But Forget about a smart phone or a new car. I'm dealing with standards here. So, yes, it makes sense to freak-out and get all uptight. However, I don't have to choose that reaction, it would just make me crazy. And my point-of-view is that if I can master myself with nothing, now, then when I am set up with all the specs in life, I'll be happy no matter what.

So now what? How do we master that? How do we become happy with what we have inside, sans material objects. I was writing this morning, a practice worth taking on when you need a friend. Here's what I wrote down.

 "When there is stillness, the body and mind can begin to wake up and get loud! The loudness sometimes hurts. It's important to stay grounded. How do we do this? Through breath and continuously breathing. Then focusing on moving the energy forward towards your intentions and following through on on that. I have to disallow the pain and stickiness from becoming stronger. Just like the body; if you don't move it and stretch it everyday, you'll get tighter. Or in this case, narrower in the sense of the mind with less room to work with, causing a mental straight-jacket. The pattern of physically not moving will become stronger too; the fascia will lay down more tissue to hold the structure in that restricted place. So it may be uncomfortable to move forward in life, just as it is in moving into a new pose at first, but we have to in order to progress and live the vision we once saw."

So after writing and breathing, and seeing all of that which I wrote above, I can see that it is uncomfortable to be where I'm at right now, but so what? The point of this experience is to transcend and not allow myself to become tight, I don't want to pull a muscle, strain or sprain anything, mind and life included. I want to move gracefully through this moment where I am at. It's the only choice I'm giving myself. For me, how to do this is just by breathing and being, breathing and being and more breathing and being with myself. I will continue my practice of yoga, I have no choice in that matter-says me. Then choosing to move forward from a place of calm. This is where radical acceptance reigns supreme. AHhhhhh.. It's acceptance of self I've been dealing with all along. So, I guess it's not so bad to have nothing. Could be worse, right? I could be holding my breath, god forbid!

B~

To Practice.

Whoever said practice makes perfect was on the right path. Practice brings us closer to our intention of what we want, and that is good. However, practice will never get us to perfection, only towards the space of being whole and complete in our practice and life. It will however, bring us into the space of happiness.

"Practice, you wanna talk about practice?!"
Allen Iverson reacting to the infamous 'why practice'
press conference, back in the day.

Speaking of practicing, my yoga practice has waned over the last 6 months. Funny too since I went away to deepen my practice and learn a new form of yoga which I have been posting about. Although YogAlign was great, it also veered me off course. Actually, nothing can veer me off course, so I want to say 'threw' me off course. But you know what? Nothing can throw me off course either if it's all the same path we are on. So, now I want to say everything happened as it should have. Moving on...

YogAlign taught me a lot, I loved being on Kauai too. The yoga I learned was very different than the yoga I have been practicing over the last 7 years. I thought my training was going to forever change the way I practiced again. I also thought it was going to change it in the sense that I couldn't go back to practicing the way I used to.  I remember having the thought that I may never be able to practice the yoga I grew into learning b/c every asana wasn't always in perfect alignment, which was the style I was learning, and being in the best alignment was the only way I thought I could practice again.

I was right on one hand. My training did forever change the way I come onto the mat and practice asana. I find myself way more aware of how I am using my body and breath while practicing, not always just doing asana but bringing being to my practice.  I also can go back to practicing styles of yoga that I grew with in the past.  I am letting go of which way is the right way and which way is the perfect way to practice. As long as I am practicing yoga, all is well.

"Practice, and all is coming."

I see that practicing is just practicing. There are many forms of practice and practice will always lead you further down your path. As I type this now, embodying Osho and channeling him as I do at times; (my impersonation now), 'With no practice you will be standing still on the path, looking at the flowers and talking a lot. But it won't occur to others as wisdom, it will just seem arrogant, and you will mock where you never went further along the path, you will not smell the flowers or hear the birds singing.'  Those who practice, in my mind at least right now, are ones who are in the inquiry of learning, they are involved in it. The bigger 'it', and are likely to not always be bragging or talking about themselves, others or the practice in a selfish manor. They are in a spiritual context, humble, learning, open, unable to judge so much. When one is on the path but no longer practicing, the ego can take a larger piece of the pie and act all-mighty, describing the 'way it is', unless they are humble enough to admit they are no longer practicing.

To be talking about your practice w/o practicing is, as Michael Franti says on rapping, "to be rhyming without a real reason, is to claim but not to practice a religion." Practice is less talk and more action. More self and less ego. The late Sri Pattabhi Jois, founder of Ashtanga Yoga says, "Practice, and all is coming." This statement is golden.

So what I want to share is that I am practicing again. I am practicing and slowly allowing my practice to lead me to what is next for me in my larger 'practice'.  I am incorporating the different styles and aspects of yoga and creating the intention to go deeper down my path.

Today I practiced a Kundalini Kriya on the beach with breathwork. All roads lead west... or east, or wherever, it doesn't matter where they lead, really.

B~

Divine Recognition; Gods and Goddesses Unite

yogic man or yogic god?

 "Hey man,.. YO, you are such a divine god! I was talking tonight about the use of the word 'goddess' in our yogic world and how women will sometimes refer to themselves and each other as 'goddesses'.  It's always been nice to hear this. To see a woman displaying her natural, feminine essence, radiating love and sensuality in subtle and intricate ways for the world to be witness too in mysterious moments. On the other hand my curiosity speaks; What's up with that?

 It got me thinking. Why haven't I referred to my buddy Drew who practices yoga as a god? How come men aren't recognizing each other in their divinity and saying, "wow, what a god." What started out as as just a joke is now turning into an inquiry.

Sexism, gender stereotyping, post-feminist revolution and divine recognition comes to mind. Is it some kind of feminist revolutionary language women will say to empower themselves with?  Or, is it just divine recognition of each others' truest qualities coming forth through language and being that women are comfortable with in showing and recognizing in each other?  What is the dark, shadow side of this? Is there one? Is it a way of demonstrating a gender power shift? What if a man referred to another man as a god? Would that be too sexist or macho for women? Or would it be too radical for how men are supposed to act towards each other in our aging Piscean world. Hmmm...This is getting interesting.

In any case, I still find the whole sociological breakdown funny. We've all gone through this life together, from the beginning-man and woman have walked the earth side-by-side, have we forgotten this? I wonder if sometimes we have and think that maybe we really are from different planets. Even Venus and Mars in Roman mythology speaks to our differences, it's not just a book.

Mars being the god of war who was married to Bellona but had a lover in Venus. War is synonymous with destruction and in todays current, brutality, selfishness, greed, capitalism and in mythological terminology-deceit and even adultery, the savages! It's easy to blend the connotation of man/god/Mars together and drop it in a not-so-friendly box of stereotypes. Venus on the other hand represents love, beauty and fertility. Today women celebrate and are celebrated for their ability to procreate and shine out in the world, at least in the West. But it's funny how we as men don't refer to each other as gods. Could it be b/c we are still enacting a 'boy psychology' as authors Moore and Gillette coin in their book, 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover?'  In this case why would we want to be referred to each other as god's when we are clearly acting like mortal boys.  So, yeah, whew.  Us men being called god's.  And I'm not even pushing for it to happen.  But to hear it out there in the world, well that would just be weird, wouldn't it?  'Yo man.. Drew, he is such a god, so powerful and handsome!' Never happens. Maybe cool or smart or something?

But who am I to be the world's authority on divine recognition? Maybe men do call each other god's? Maybe in remote places around the world like some Polynesian islands or California men are cultivating a new way of referring to themselves and each other in the transformed dialect of 'God'? I mean why not? Women are goddesses, right? Wouldn't that by default equate a man to be a god? Actually, now that I am writing this I remember my friend Patrick, who lives in Burlington, VT. Patrick has a section of his house where prayer, yoga and meditation take place. That room is called the 'GGIT.' An acronym for 'God's and Goddesses In Training.'

Ahhh, I see now. As long as it's an all-inclusive affair for Zeus's and Hera's we're kosher. It's been an imbalance of power all along! The goddesses need the gods, and the god's need the goddesses! It's a call to action for men all over to become more godly and step into their natural essence themselves! Right? Women have been referring to themselves as goddesses b/c they secretly want their male counterparts to step up and do the same so they can too be recognized by men as such and so that men can become the idyllic personification the women are so longing for,... yeah?

Is this what divine godliness looks like?

Men have for years played out the terms; cool, hip, trendy, manly, smart and handy with each other. 2012 is upon us! We are reading David Deida! We are becoming (or supposed to becoming) more collectively conscious! So, isn't it time as we further dredge into the age of Aquarius we- as mature and masculine leaders, fathers and husbands, maybe even boyfriends and single guys refer to each other as gods? Or would that just be pushing the envelope a little too much?



B~

AUgust.

It's August.. for me this is the end of the year. September has always been a new beginning for me as it used to be the time to go back to school and is the Jewish new year. It also feels like a new beginning. The summer is winding down as the season changes into autumn and it is a time of creative and new beginnings, much more-so then January, right?

This month is a crucial month for me. I am subletting my apt. and possibly moving out for the first time in 2 years. I love living with the Bright Street Boys in Jersey City. More importantly this is a time for me where I am looking to root down and start something special. I just don't know where this is yet.

I will make a voyage out to California and places between later in the month and see just where I want to create in this dream. It really is just a dream, you know. We are on one giant dream-board, dreaming together a collective dream that we are calling life.

So, we shall see? I will be out on the west coast soon and I am still completely open to coming back east and living in this area. But for now, I dream.

B~